Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
