i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My butt remains clenched, sir.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize