Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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