I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
