Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
