are you so shy because you have an std?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize