Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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