We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
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