I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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