I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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