u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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