if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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