I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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