Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
this will be a night to untag.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
