Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
