areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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