Got a toothbrush?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Farmville is her only friend.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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