people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
