Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I skipped work to stalk him.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
how does that bad decision feel?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
