You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
