What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize