Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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