During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
