and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
