OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
