Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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