In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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