I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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