So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize