Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize