paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
