I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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