I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
