My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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