at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
