Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
