He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
