I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
