Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
