I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
