Are we in a gay sports bar?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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