Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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