so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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