You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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