I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
