God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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