ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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