so that wasnt chicken after all
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
