Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
