had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
