Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
