I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
