Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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