I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
