in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're a waste of cheezeits
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
