I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
