what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
how drunk are you?
Several
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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