Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
