so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
