So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize