awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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